She yells out loud, 'My sainted souls!
I'll sell the Mini, buy a Rolls!
Don't stand there and gape, you little clot!
Get up there quick and grab the lot!’
Jack was nimble, Jack was keen.
He scrambled up the mighty bean.
Up up he went without a stop,
But just as he was near the top,
A ghastly frightening thing occurred –
Not far above his head he heard
A big deep voice, a rumbling thing
That made the very heavens ring.
It shouted loud, 'FEE FI FO FUM, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISH MAN!’
Jack was frightened, Jack was quick,
And down he climbed in half a tick.
'Oh mum!' he gasped. 'Believe you me
There's something nasty up our tree!
I saw him, mum! My gizzard froze!
A giant with a clever nose!’
'A clever nose!' his mother hissed.
'You must be going round the twist!’
'He smelled me out, I swear it mum!
He said he smelled an Englishman!’
The mother said, 'And well he might!
I've told you every single night
To take a bath because you smell
But would you do it? Would you hell!
You even make your mother shrink
Because of your unholy stink!’
Jack answered, 'Well, if you're so clean
Why don't you climb up the crazy bean.’
The mother cried, 'By gad, I will!
There's life within the old dog still!’
She hitched her skirts above her knee
And disappeared right up the tree.
Now would the giant smell his mum?
Jack listened for the fee-fo-fum.
He gazed aloft. He wondered when
The dreaded words would come, and then
From somewhere high above the ground
There came a frightful crunching sound
He heard the giant mutter twice
'By gosh that tasted very nice.
Although' (and this in grumpy tones)
'I wish there weren't so many bones.’
'By Christopher!'Jack cried. 'By gum!
The giant's eaten up my mum!
He smelled her out! She's in his belly!
I had a hunch that she was smelly.’
Jack stood there gazing longingly
Upon the huge and golden tree.
He murmured softly, 'Golly-gosh,
I guess I'll have to take a wash
If I am going to climb this tree
Without the giant smelling me.
In fact a bath's my only hope...’
He rushed indoors and grabbed the soap
He scrubbed his body everywhere
He even washed and rinsed his hair
He did his teeth, he blew his nose
And went out smelling like a rose.
Once more he climbed the mighty bean
The giant sat there, gross, obscene,
Muttering through his vicious teeth
(While jack sat tensely just beneath),
Muttering loud, 'FEE FI FO FUM,
RIGHT NOW I CAN'T SMELL ANYONE.’
Jack waited till the giant slept,
Then out along the boughs he crept
And gathered so much gold, I swear
He was an instant millionaire.
'A bath,' he said, 'does seem to pay.
'I'm going to have one every day.’
Read already? Nice right...at least its nicer than you tho...hahas
Tatas.this was read rachel.me.yannie. during speech lesson...
Hopefully we do well for it la...Rachel thinks we kinda screwed it up...
though i think its ok...and Yannie was loud and clear.
I pronounced beanstalk as beenstalk la...so embarassing.
Anyways...Alysia's speech was really good la...so expressive...
she should join debate.hahas.
BYE!
Labels: still recovering blog.