ANGEL

Monday, July 30, 2007

seriously.
i am freaking pissed now.
you screwed my life.
and now i'm in shit.
all thanks to you.
thanks alot man.
seriously.
its a lesson i learnt.
its not once.not twice.but thrice.
cant believe i was so nice to give you 3 chances.
but you never treasure them.
you take them for granted.
as though my patience never has a limit.
as though i'll never forsake you.
well.
i'll tell you now.
it will happen.
and my patience has run out.
cause i've had enough.
seriously.
so just get the hell out of my life.
leave me alone.
and go away.
i dont think you know who you are.
cause you're just simply too ignorant.
and to others out there.
dont think its you.
so just dont assume.
cause you dont know what i'm thinking.
you never will.
so dont assume that person is you.
or you know who i'm talking about.
cause mentioning that person.
will just piss me even further.
anyways.
junwei.
bought me a pencil box.
telling me to de-stress.
by banging my head on it.
haha.
how nice.
and damn.
i'm like freaking hungry now.
its 20.12
i havent eaten anything but a bowl of soup for the whole day.
and my mum isnt home.
so i've to wait for her.
seriously.
i'm gonna grow fatter with my irregular eating habits.
if only santa clause existed in my world.
i'll wish upon a star.
wish all my worries away.
wish i was smarter.
wish i wouldnt be dealing with so much stress now.
wish others have a lower expectation of me.
cause i'm going crazy.
with the high expectations of everyone.
they think i can cope.
well.
i'm telling you now.
I CANT COPE.
and i'm gonna have a nervous breakdown one day.
if this doesnt stop.
cause i'm really going crazy.
when i cant reach what everyone expects of me.
when i let people down.
i wish i was no one.
someone of not much significance.
that no one will realise it.
even if i vanish into thin air.
even if i suddenly am gone.
even if i just disappear.
wish i never liked him.
wish i didnt know him.
wish he never appeared in my life.
and countless apologies will never slove it.
cause something broken.
even if its fixed.
will never be the same.
can never forget that its been hurt before.
i feel better now.
after letting out my heartfelt words.
well.
thats exactly how i feel.
so stop pushing me to the limit.
a smile on the outside.
doesnt mean anything.
a smile.
may just be a mask.
cause i simply cant face reality.
thats why.
and now.
let me drown myself.
in self pity.sobs.worries of life.
let no one realise the pain.
let no one notice me.

Labels: and slowly i fade away.without anyone realising it.