Saturday, February 16, 2008
And this week was madness. With tests practically almost everyday, it almost killed angel. Tuesday was a rubbish test, that i think I'm probably gonna fail. Well, my teacher announced on Thursday that there was one failure, and the rest passed okayy. The highest was 54.5/70 i think. Heh.Somewhere there. Anyways, to zoe out there. I HOPE YOU FAIL.haha. If you fail, i wont be the one failing. YAY. DAMN.What if I'm the one who fail? Blehhh. I shan't spoil my week further, considering how spoilt it is already. Heh. Me and Zoe almost wanted to bet in class on who would be the failure. The mad pair. WAIIIT. you're supposed to love your neighbour as yourself. Hehe. Honestly, i have problems with that commandment, cause i find it super difficult. Well, i suppose practically everyone cant do it.Whatever. Moving on. I left school after reccess, in other words, after the chinese test. Blehh. That was the main reason for me attending school. My head honestly almost killed me. Went to the doctor. Had 5 horrendously huge medication, which made me a fool in front of zoe. I shall elaborate on that when i talk about wednesday. blehhh.
Wednesday. Boring as usual. As usual, Zoe found something about me to laugh about. She practically finds everything i do hilarious, so she was laughing at me, as i stared at the medicine in class for 30 minutes, hoping for it to shrink. Well, i sorta have a phobia that the medicine would get stuck in my throat. It did before okayy. So its not just me being paranoid. Anyways, thankfully, my mom had a "tablet cutter" cum "medicine storer". Its a small cute box that can contain tablets and a small thing at the side to cut into half without creating a mess. Anyways, ZOE PITTAS. you were being mean okayy. Always laughing at me.blehhhh. Anyways, Zoe wanted to force the medicine down my throat, cause i really didnt want to eat it. After a tussle, the tablet fell on the floor. haha. I was laughing all the way through the lesson, at Zoe's failure for being unable to force feed me my medicine. Zoe claims that the wastage of that half tablet of antibiotics resulted in me not being well till the end of the week. haha.
Thursday.As i said, stupid lover's day. Haha. Zoe. Soph . Me went to tampines to watch PS. I LOVE YOU. Honestly, its super touching. Super sad. Sophia was water works, i was not as bad as Sophia, but worse than Zoe. Haha. Surprisingly, zoe who claims she never cries during movies, cried. Heh. We took mostly rubbish reflection pictures, and pictures in the taxi. Loads of screwed up ones. Some which we promised to keep for our own viewing only, as we looked screwed in them to a certain extent, while some we deleted immediately, cause it was outright embarrassing. As for the rest, i'll probably post them another day. Sorry soph and zoe. I havent had time so far to upload. Apart from that, at night was horrible.Went to some smelly person's house for dinner. It was ultimately boring. And i wasted FOUR AND A HALF HOURS of my life there. When i could have been doing my work. Due to that, i stayed up till 1 just to do my work. I felt super pissed with my parents for forcing me to go with them.
This resulted in Friday being really lousy. Me and Zoe felt super tired. We were the dead instead of hyper pair. During SALT, we practically stoned the whole thing, feeling damn dead. Rushed home for piano. Told my younger brother to start first. So my piano was only at 6, and i reached home at 5.45. I crashed on the sofa near the piano, telling my maid to wake me up for piano later. As suspected, i didnt budge when my maid woke me up. Thankfully, my piano teacher is someone super understanding, and she extended my brother's piano, until i finally woke up at 6.30. She did these, without complaints, and without telling my mother. Thank you. Its appreciated. Heh. Due to a super long thing that happened, i didnt need to go for another stupid event, which i suppose would be equally as the one on Thursday. As it was planned that we weren't eating at home, we had to go out for dinner. Dinner was good and cheerful. I for once, managed to keep a smile and forget about what happened on Thursday, without complaints at all. I thank God for helping me to honour my parents no matter what, and that they were always right, and i didnt say anything about it, despite how sour i was feeling about it.
Saturday. Had tuition in the morning. Went to the doctor after that, and he told me that i couldnt go to church. Needless to say, i was disappointed. I'm worried, worried that I might get some rubbish serious illness, no matter how slim the chances are. However, i still thank God for that la. Sort of bonded with my mom. Went out the whole day with her. I had a scalp treatment and hair cut, she had her nails and hair done. Did Geography after i came home. Spent about 3 hours studying it,and i am say about 3/4 done. Hopefully, i'll be able to remember the stuff i've studied.Anyways, thanks Shawn for your message. It cheered me up. Thanks lydia too, for calling and asking about how I was and all. That 20 minute chat of you being a listening ear was really good. I thank God for you.
Ohoh. Its really wierd. I though of this while i was half-awake on wednesday or thursday or friday. Cant really remember. It was close to 6.25, my waking up time, when the words flowed into my mind. Here it goes.
Lord oh Lord, oh Lord my dear
I need a listening ear
Someone who cares
Someone who shares
with feelings from the heart
Lord oh Lord I thank you Lord
For all that you have done
the miracles, oh saviour Lord
I wonder what i would have become
Lord oh Lord, how great your name
i'll always praise
And everyday, i look to you
In awe and in grace
I thank you Lord. Well, the ones in Itallic are the words that came to my mind while i was half-awake, the rest was a continuation that came to my mind while i was using the com one day. Anyways, due to alot of stuff, i've been feeling that this year would be tough, and no matter how much i tell myself that God would bring me through it, i still have the feeling of doubt. I even had a dream that day. Heres how it goes.
A friend and I were clinging to the railing of a building for our lives. My brother was at the top of the building, staring at us. I tried first, to pull myself up the railing, and just as i was almost up onto the building, i fell back down, and thankfully, i managed to grab hold of the railing again. This time, my friend tried, and she managed to get on to the building on her first attempt. I tried again, but the same thing happened. I told my brother to help, but he somehow didnt. The words were clear. But from what i remembered, he was trying to tell me that he couldn't help me. He didnt say why, but he just insisted that he had no ability to help me. He couldn't in a sense, and not that he did not want to.I think. Then i suddenly pleaded out loud. The word that appeared most clearly in my head during the dream was God. The rest was a blur. But i roughly remembered that i was trying to tell God that i didnt want to die.not yet. and that i wanted him to help me. In that instant, i attempted to climb up again, and i managed to get up.
I woke up after that. The whole day in school, i pondered about it. And it dawned about me. Today. Just as i was talking to Lydia. The words flowed out. I suddenly told her about the dream, and i suddenly went on to what i thought. About the year being really tough, and that i really needed to call on God to get through it and that God was my only way out. That explanation just suddenly flowed out of my mouth. I guessed it was probably God explaining it to me. Heh. Thank you Lord.
And i just realised. This week seemed kinda special. Different form usual, one of the weeks that I had the most reflection and revelation. This post is long enough. I shall leave here.
-OUT
angel.
Labels: lost in a world of artificial love.
